Having a very hypersensitive day today. It's just weird. D called me and told me about a disagreement that a certain person caused at a party after I left on Sunday night, and it made me really sad. I wasn't even there and it had nothing to do with me, so why should I feel bad if someone else was acting like an ass and spoiled the evening for others somewhat? I have no control over that. But it made me feel a little sad anyway -- especially for the person in question who was acting like an ass. I don't think they do it deliberately, because I often hear them expressing regret (sometimes in a really roundabout way, but still) about their emotional outbursts after they've occurred. So I can't believe that they are really 100% happy with uncontrollably playing out a certain behavior repeatedly that makes other people feel bad and that they judge themselves harshly for later. (I know I'm not happy about it when I see myself doing that, so I guess that's why I tend to think they probably aren't happy about it either.) Again, not my problem, and not my place to tell them what to do in their lives, but something about it just made me feel sad.

I also got fed back to me today more evidence for why I find it necessary to retreat sometimes to try to protect myself. There's just so much going on, and so many emotions and comments for me to try to make sense out of, and sometimes it gets overwhelming.

Interestingly, however, I had a really nice day with my mom yesterday. There was no tension, no worrying, no hyper-reactiveness, no nothing. Instead we just did some errands together and had some really nice, non-emotionally charged conversation. I definitely noticed the difference and at the end of the day I told her I had had a really nice time with her and thanked her. She commented herself that she felt a lot calmer that day -- for example, something happened at the pharmacy that normally she would have become very tense and irritated over, but instead she and I were laughing about it. It was a nice change. I'm noting it here to myself because I'd like to make it a point to enjoy those kinds of days with her for what they are, instead of being irritated that they don't happen more often or getting stressed out myself when she gets super wound up over something. Reactive behavior doesn't usually help change anything for the better -- I'll keep trying to keep that in mind.

Tags: reflections
Current Location: edit suite
Current Mood: listless

I often find stories about kids and their behavior amusing (^O^)

My co-worker's daughter is getting an F in Spanish class. Just now her Spanish teacher e-mailed my co-worker and was like, "I have to tell you that your daughter's not paying attention in class. She's texting on her cell phone and playing with her iPod instead."

So my co-worker, of course, is going to take her daughter's cell phone away... BUT. Knowing my co-worker, I guarantee that kid will probably have her cell phone back in no time. I was her daughter's piano teacher for a while, so I remember the level of discipline that was going on at that time. And once that kid gets her cell phone back, she'll go right back to her old tricks.

To me this is fascinating because there is no way on earth I or any of my siblings would have gotten away with that as kids. Hell, when I was getting a C in Geometry my dad made me go through the textbook and study an equivalent amount of hours for every hour that I wanted to spend on doing something "fun". I had to keep a log of my study hours and deduct hours from the log for my leisure time. I went through the book and caught up with my class three times, wound up with a B, and got the "Most Improved" award that semester. (And as a side note, to this day I remember enough of what I learned that I was able to help Kenta with his geometry class when he stayed with us as an exchange student, and I just recently helped a friend with his geometry homework from a math class he had to take to get his teacher's license.) So if cell phones had actually been a vital part of daily life when I was in high school the way they are now, and if I had actually had one, there is no doubt in my mind that if I were getting an F in anything, I could have kissed that thing goodbye and probably never would have seen it again.

We also often have policyholders here at my father's office whose insurance premiums are out-of-the-ballpark ridiculous because their teenage kids have racked up a bunch of speeding tickets and traffic violations. Adding a teenage driver with a spotless driving record will drive your insurance premium up pretty high as it is -- it can almost double -- so you can imagine that a kid with a speeding ticket or two is a pretty large expense. Yet these people will complain about how high their premiums are. It's like, dude -- how about telling your irresponsible driver of a kid that they're cut off from driving? I know there are kids with part-time jobs, but if that were my kid, I would say they could damn well take the bus or figure out another way to get to their job unless they wanted to pay for their own insurance policy.

It's just amazing to me what some kids apparently get away with these days. I know it's always easy to say "My kid will never do XYZ" or "I'll never do XYZ as a parent," but I feel pretty safe in saying that there is no way I'm going to fund luxury items like a cell phone or car payments for my kid if they're going to be irresponsible. Sorry.

Tags: kids
Current Location: ofisu
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Christmas carols on the radio